Is it possible to be lower than hell? I might have reached a new low today.

Is it possible to be lower than hell? I might have reached a new low today.

If it is possible to be in a place lower than hell, trust me I am there right now. This week has been so terrible, but that is good news for whoever reads this because that means I’ll be stress/ emotional baking tomorrow. Which means that I will be posting the fruits of my emotional labor this weekend.

Here’s the preview:
Nutella-Stuffed, Brown Butter, Sea Salt, Chocolate Chip Cookies
White Chocolate Topped Gingerbread Cookie

Let’s get fat lol



So I guess I decided to become a runner…

So I guess I decided to become a runner...

Let me start off this post with a little fact about myself: I am the least athletic person I know. I’m pretty sure my chubby Westie, Kirby, could outrun me if she wanted; and she doesn’t run…she waddles.

Anyways, over the summer I was inspired by one of my friends to use this running program C25K. I actually really like it! It teaches you how to run and builds up your stamina so that you can run a full 5K without stopping.

But because I’m me, I hurt myself running at the tail end of week 3 and couldn’t run for about 2 weeks. I hope you don’t think I actually started back up after the 2 weeks though.

I just started again, at week 1 day 1, today, and I am determined to run everyday this week. We’ll see if this lasts into next week and the following weeks. (Here’s a hint: most likely it won’t.)

If any of you would like to leave me some encouraging words to get me motivated I would appreciate it.


The reason you shouldn’t threaten anyone…

The reason you shouldn’t threaten anyone...

So recently I had someone threaten to sue me because I wouldn’t pay her for a bed that I wanted to give back to her, since she lied about the brand and size (totally makes sense, I know). Well I tried to work it out with her but she refused to have anything but her way.

Now comes the funny part: my mom’s a lawyer….(oooooh how awkward for this dumb bitch)

So my “attorney” called the bitch and asked for her lawyers info. To which she said “Brian”, just Brian; she apparently could not provide any further info at the time. (oh and for reference, her bf’s name is Brian and he is MAYBE in his second year of law school) Long story short, my mom scared the living shit out of her and she settled on having me pay her only for the things I’m keeping (apparently to her that wasn’t very logical at first). Oh but before she agreed to that she wanted me to pay for half of the bed (LOL jokes!).

The moral of my story is that you should not threaten anyone, even if you have something to back it up, because you just don’t know what hand the other person will be holding. Also, you will look like an asshole if your threat backfires on you….


If you’re God’s gift to women, I hope he kept the receipt…

So there is something I really need to vent about: cocky mo’ fo’s. Ugh! They annoy me so much! One, you are not that attractive. Two, if you are mildly attractive, your head is shoved so far up your own ass that no one can even have a decent conversation with you. Finally, you work out way too much and that just makes it so your fratty polos make you look fat not frat. 

You are not every woman’s dream; we steer clear of your kind. (Well, unless we are really hammered.) But all in all, there is nothing, including a billion dollars, that makes me want to get on my knees for you.

Have fun with your STD’s! (Don’t scratch, it only makes it worse.)


So I’m just a little obsessed with weddings…

So I’m just a little obsessed with weddings...

Okay readers, I have a confession to make. I am completely obsessed with everything wedding. It might be because I’m a girl, or maybe because I’m in a sorority, but I think my obsession stems from the fact that I have never been to a wedding I liked. I know this may be hard to believe, but it’s true. It’s not that I think the weddings were poorly planned or gaudy, it’s the fact that none of them had anything original.

Originality is the most important aspect of any wedding, and that is because it should be part of every aspect of your wedding. Your venue should mean something to you and your partner, as should the colors, decorations, vows, flowers, speeches, food, the dress, and music. I just don’t understand why you would want to have a vanilla wedding. Why? But actually, why? No one will remember your special day except you, and wouldn’t you want to make the day not just special for you but for all of your loved ones that you invited?

I want my wedding to perfectly represent the love me and my fiancé have for each other. I want to share all the little quarks we have with our friends and family and really show who we are as a couple. I don’t want my wedding to be just about me. I want it to be about the future “us” I will be a part of. I mean I do want to have a gorgeous dress that makes everyone stop and stare, but everything else can be a representation of us.

The thing I’m most obsessed with: the reaction my fiancé will have when he sees me walk down the isle. That is the one true original piece of every wedding. You can’t plan it, and I don’t know why you would try. If you have never seen that look it is one of the most expressive and emotional times you will see a man. It is also the most heartwarming thing to see.

I can’t wait to see that on my wedding day, and to have to picture to always remember it by.